HARDER HOT TUBS
Vegas. Ouch. But amazing amazing block party fiestas, so good we managed to be nearly passed out in the middle of the street and hailing a police car down because we thought it was a cab. Fortunately it's Vegas, so they told us to get our asses out of the street and to not sit down on the sidewalks either. Hmmm. Lucky in Vegas for sure. Our drunken stupors somehow didn't interfere with getting back to the hotel, and pre-ordering a delicious grilled cheese from room service an hour in advance. And let's just say a bath tub that fits four...and a bathroom with a television set is somehow spectacular...and hard to vacate, especially with mountains of bubbles. Plus, Monday night was a bit hilarious when my group jumped into a limo with a few random folks and limo hopped between casinos for fun...only to then gamble my 18cent voucher and drink a few crowns while being stickered up by Han Cholo. Kick ass indeed. Tons and tons of photos to come. But in the meantime, check this out...give it a minute, it'll rock your socks.

HIPSTER OLYMPICS
Travis rules for sending this over to me today...take ten minutes and watch this. It's so freakin' dead on. Go PBR! Go Vice! Go lackadaisical hipster!

SLAGGIN' LAGGIN'
We slagged a bit on the dopetastic media for the week...considering it's Thursday. But the scene's been so busy our asses our trying to catch up with ourselves. Four nights of double gigs and daytime work overload. Sleep? No. But here's our kick ass track sent over by our music contributer, iono of suburbia. You can only download it for a couple of days, so gooo, time's awastin'! Go here to retrieve your dope media, Cicada's Cut Right Through (Imaginary Friend Remix).

Oh...and shady video for the week, this shit's creepy awesome:



Strawberry Jam's "Peacebone"... due out next month.

THE REAL T2
As much of a fan I am for robots, its the cute lil wind up guys or the roll around and dance with you bots that I fancy. Of course the old school bots who could maybe just push you around a bit in harmless fun are great too. But when it comes to a robot who is specifically designed for termination, well shit, haven't we all watched that film a dozen times. I recall staying home non sick from school as a kid and watching it daily (along with a few other classics such as Adventures in Babysitting)...but seriously...we all should have learned a lesson or two from the 80's hit. Don't make a robot that knows how to throw grenades, order guns, shoot the shit and maintain a great view through nightvision. But guess what, it may not come in the cyborg flesh the Terminator we know was so well endowed with, but it's only a matter of time; because the Talon Swat Bot is here. Danger, Danger Will Robinson!! The real T2 has come to life, and I can only surmise that within in a couple of years he'll be policing your neighborhood for 'protection'.
Check this...the Talon Bot comes with:
- a Multi-shot TASER electronic control device with laser-dot aiming
("can you say phase plasma rifle in the 40 watt range?" Cause that's what T2 was rockin' in the gunstore).
- Loudspeaker and audio receiver for negotiations
(Sara Conner? Pft. Negotiation my ass).
- Night vision and thermal cameras
(You know, to detect the body temps at night an such).
- Choice of weapons for lethal or less-than-lethal responses
(Bots need options too).
- 40 mm grenade launcher - 2 rounds
(Cause 2 rounds oughtta do the trick).
- 12-gage shotgun - 5 rounds (Really guy, really?)
- FN303 less-lethal launcher - 15 rounds
(It's less lethal, so he gets 15 rounds).

Shit dude...read the rest here.

BAD JOKES
For some reason, today has been the day of really, really, really bad jokes. You know the ones, you tell it and you already know its going to be bad before you even finish. Or the ones that are so bad you can't help but laugh. Here are some joyously bad jokes for you to enjoy:

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub; I'm dwonin'!

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A Flat Minor.

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

What is a vampires favorite fruit?
Neck-tarines!

Why did the sheep jump into the lake?
He wanted to take a ba-a-a-ath.

What's red, brown and sticky?
That bloody stick again!

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and crosses back over?
A dirty double crosser.

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Control freak. Now you say control freak who!?

READ A B-O-O-K
Sometimes it's nice to get a swift kick in the ass in order to check your self. Sometimes it's fun to make a spoof. Today, the bestest of the best is a sweet combo of the two. It's about time we were reminded to brush our teeth, wear deodorant and for cripes sakes, read a damn book!! Seriously...watch this, you'll laugh your ass off and be singing it all day long. Spread the energy.

DOPETASTIC MEDIA
Here's our dopetastic media for the week...seeing as it's a Tuesday and all, and new releases come out...we are going to drop some releases of our own on you. Our friends in New York started the series, "Dinner with the Band"...so check out one of the first sessions featuring Iheartcomix's Matt & Kim. Check out the goods and full clip with the band on Pitchfork!
And...our music contributer (Iono from Suburbia) has dropped this bomb on us...free for you to download! It's the YELLE - ACDG (RIOT IN BELGIUM) track. Kind of amazing....

BITS and BITS and BILBO
It's hot as shit...like seriously. Speaking of hot...tomorrow night is gonna rule with Pink Enemy and Fembot and more NYC goodies galore. MMM MMM yum. I tried to take it easy this weekend and so had zero shoots and lots of pool bbq lounging. But damn it, I was still up until about 6am each night at up at 10am or so. However, my surprise evening on Saturday was well worth it since I spent the night at Houdini's house in Lookout Mountain. Um..amazing. I feel like there should have been some wizards bumbling around. This place had a moat, caves, hidden trails and labyrinths, a dungeon, ladders to beds on lofts, pools and hot tubs. I think I just stared around in awe for about 5 hours while nursing my drink. It was like a wonderland for people on acid and there may as well have been a Bilbo Baggins walking around too. Of course, no Shady pics because it was the night off...but randomly, there are photos online of this sweet pad which apparently once housed Zappa, Joplin and more. I didn't see any ghosts...although, who knows...everything was misty as hell.
Waking up Sunday morning was rough, of course I couldn't manage to sleep in at all for some reason but did lay around being useless for about 3 hours. And then...it was off to Chavez for some margaritas with Jules and Ebone. I kept it to a minimum of one 'rita and blast off...the conversation exploded with nonsensical and amazing robot and zombie and crazy ass underground 80's movies that half the world's never heard of. And then...it was 'let's get nuttier time' and have a private hair dye party. Hmmm..lovely. Now I'm a redhead. And of course, nothing tops off an evening like chasing the beloved cat around the back yard whispering his name so as not to fully disturb the neighbors, cause we all know they're slightly disturbed as it is. Oh the bonding of Sunday afternoons and evenings. I didn't really make it much further into the evening. 2am was shut down time. Soft red hair on the pillow. Lights out.

IMEEM and MORE
Apparently, I now am on Imeeeeeeeem...
joyriding around Chicago. Oh JTI, posting the lovely late night dawdling of Ellei J at 4am. Those Comfort Suites have some great coffee....and cheers to some of those Illinois boys for crack-a-lackin' with me.
Today...a fuzzy joy came in a box. Oh stop it! It was a stuffed Gizmo...and he wooos and waaahs and gurgles. He's the damn cutest thing I've ever seen. I think I'll pass out now.

LOLLA LAND
So much to tell about the crazy nights and endless days of Chicago for Lollapalooza. Anne and I seriously tore the town up and I actually opted out of shooting the festival so I could just kick back during the days. Rather than sit here and type out nearly five pages of what went down, let's just say I hung out with some super rad people, made great new friends and photographed the best damn parties there were. And, getting to dance around with Daft Punk and see them without those robot costumes was pretty insane. Ed Banger crew, Rapture, The Faint, Weird Science all played some amazing DJ sets, and The Rapture were soooo freakin good at Lolla. I missed Illinois but did get to meet up with them for energy drinks at 4am before going our separate ways, so that was pretty interesting. Energy drinks, in a thunderstorm, at 4am.
Plus, I'm pretty sure Anne and I ended up sharing a brain by the end of the trip, seeing as we each lost half of our own, and began our days with a mimosa or the hair of a thousand dogs. Room service and hotel/venue hopping was awesome. Debonair Social Club was such great hosts to us...yaaay! And man oh man, freakin VHS or Beta came in just to hang and chill on the last day and we checked out the My Morning Jacket show which was amazing. But seriously...some of the things that come out of your head when trippin' on life and boozin' at noon...man oh man. A list...of the weirdest blurts and blurbs from myself and friends I spent each day with during the trip to Chicago.

"What's your name?"
"My name's security."
"Oh, I'm Mike."
"Your name's gonna be Evicted if I have to come up here again." (Thursday 4am)

"Inside voices! Inside voices....what are we 12?" (Thursday, 4:15am)

"This coffee tastes like ash."
"Ass?"
"No. Ash."
"Mmm, it does." (Friday, 1pm)

"Where should I put my cup? (Ellei to security guard)"
"Throw it there."
"You want me to litter?"
"Hey...grass's gotta get drunk too."
"Hmmm. The grass is very drunk now." (Friday, 10pm)

"We are a part of the urination!!"
"Rhythm nation...whatever...don't ask." (Saturday, 5am)

"Did I sit on potatoes? I totally sat on potatoes."
"I spilled gravy on my shirt...." (both shrug) (Saturday, 8pm)

"Man, you need the hair of the dog."
"I need the hair of a thousand dogs." (Sunday, 1pm)

"Don't dip the pen in the company ink." (Sunday, 3pm)

"If someone ever said to me, girl, I like the way you sweat...I'd be like boy, let's do this." (Sunday, 3:30pm)

"Oh yeah, we been tight every since we got so disgusting together." (Sunday, 5:30pm)

"I nailed it! I got it! The scratch n' stiff sticker." (Sunday, 5:45pm) - P.S. this shit's copyrighted

"I used to blow grass real good."
"I never blew grass but I snort sometimes."
"I don't know."
"So we snorted all night and blew grass?"
"Magical." (Monday, 4am)

This concludes my trip to Chicago...I honestly can't wait to get back to that lovely windy city.