Tuesday, September 30, 2008

i kind of love living alone. because it means i can come home and drop my drawers on an instant. i dont have to worry about fluffing my snarl of a hair in the morning or being embarrassed about my half crooked sleepy eye when i first wake up. cus fuck it. it's just two cats staring at me and ogling my face until i put a biscuit in the bowl. or a triscuit.
i also realized that my dear mokey who is now 15 years old is nearing his lapse of life. its heartbreaking. but, since i've been sort of preparing for the past 3 years, well, i acknowledge the inevitable. but i had a funny. and that was when i considered the concept that if there were a "tales from the kitty crypt" mokey would straight up be the crypt kitty keeper! And yes that's an amazing thing because the crypt keeper is fucking cute. yes...he is. skin and bones and all. and that laugh! holy molasses! Mokey...boney little bastard that he is, is totally the kitty crypt keeper.
i need more sleep. i have been a silly little disrupt character all day. but i like it that way.

p.s. fuck capitol letters. way overrated.

p.p.s. goodnight. good morning. good heavens.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

We are so glad to hear that DJ AM and Travis are pulling through and in better condition today. Apparently, Adam was even cracking a few jokes this morning so yaaay! Best wishes to a fast recovery and condolences to families and everyone involved.
You won't be able to stop playing with this. Hahaha. That's what sheeee said!

Friday, September 12, 2008

The second annual Shadowscene US Tour is lining up with a kick off of October 8th....yip yipppper. Last year's was a blast; more details to come!
It's really refreshing to wake up to an overcast morning sometimes. I feel like it takes the rest of the world just as long as me to actually wake up. No cheating because of the sun. Tomorrow is Nocturnal...and boy oh boy is that name oh so appropriate.
Digitalism are in town so I'll be running around with Isi and taking photos at the festival with all the So Sweet artists as well. The fest starts at 7pm and Digitalism don't even play until around 2am. Ptao and I are planning on hiding back and sidestage ducking around all the neon that will be flying around our faces. It promises to be an interesting night for sure. Tote bags are almost complete, tees are in printing (half printing which means still rolled up in boxes with a jug of ink beside them) and new stickers and goodies are in the process. Now it's time to run off to a hike before the sun sets sail.

A night...tonight. Where I wander off on my solo mission as usual. And make discoveries so profound, I wish I shared them with you more often. Sometimes headphones are my bestfriend...but outside of them, I have three people that really rally my thoughts and emotions. Three. Out of a million people that I've laughed with, giggled, drank, drunk, tickled, played, fooled, messed, witnessed, accused, forgiven. Just three.

I live in the muckiest and most interesting of places. And I see so many things. And I backstep retreat just so I can fully encompass what is happening, even when I am not photographing. There is so much that is unseen, even though I am ShAdowSceNe. There are some things I file away for people; to protect and hide...in little shadows.

I miss stuff. I miss people. I miss the days of writing. I miss the days of disappearing in a non electro flashing-light singing my heart out and breaking my fingers on an E-string. That's why lately I choose to divide my time a bit differently. There are a couple people who bitch at me for this but damn. If I can't make myself happy, then I can't make you happy.

I live in a day to day world where I hear an abundance of words. I freestyle. I sing. I dance. I echo what I hear and feel within. No, I don't need anyone to make me feel these things, although they do. But I quite easily see them when I look around. I feel them when I wander around. I hear them when I try not to listen. I'm over-observational. I'm too caring. I'm self doubting but at the same time wreckless. I'm too smart for my own good. I think too much. I just spilled a bit of my guts on a bright white screen. Can you feel blue energies writhing in your eyes?

I used to write a lot. And then someone told me I wasn't doing anything for a good cause...and that art wouldn't change anything. Someone's an idiot. However, I shelved nearly five books of text that now sit in a dusty closet. I live to live. I live for all the amazing people that send me messages saying I inspired them...to move to Germany...to learn a new artform...to not care what people think...to be real.

Are you still reading this? Oh, okay. Hai.

I meet amazing people. I meet people that you may have tossed your change to. I tossed them a day of my life by spending an afternoon to really learning what it's like to be someone else. I've had drinks with a homeless man because he protected me from the "unsafe zones". I then was thrown out of a bar for trying to buy him a drink. I've slept in a cemetery. I've slept on a train. I've not slept for three days straight. I'll change my contacts in the dark. I'll cuddle with a stone. I'll recite songs in my head because they'll hit harder than your words. I'll echo your tone with a shotgun lyric and you'll still be prone...to read this...and think about how you could change a wrong. How can you make something right? Why are you so upset? Why so many questions and a wandering mind. Just stop. Have you tried to make yourself smile? It's awkward...and refreshing. Push your skin up and vibrate to something that's not familiar.

Share something today. Make yourself uncomfortable. I promise you'll laugh about it later.

It's a bright day, even when it rains. Find something and lose it. I told a best-friend tonight...that when when things are stolen, they come back twice as amazing.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

I'll soon give the full update/write-up on why Camel is too corporate for their own good. Get out of the party scene and stop infiltrating my fun. Your filters are useless.

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Tonight I'm heading down to Santa Ana for TRUST at Proof Bar. Classixx are djing and last time I was there some chick projectile vomited all over the bathroom. It somehow hit everyone but me. Goooood times tonight for sure! Rawr!