BOTTOMLESS BELLY
Let's just talk about Joe for a second. I spent most of my weekend with Joe joe and we came to the realization that 90% of our time spent together, we are eating, or planning on eating, or thinking about eating, or watching food network, or cooking...you get the point. So, once we came to this realization, we couldn't help but notice it even more. And boy oh boy does one discovery lead to another. Joe, it turns out, has a bottomless cast-iron stomach. Here's a brief review of two days spent with Joe joe.
Saturday I awake to a feast of Chinese food which we eat by the pool. Joe intakes chow mein, fried rice, curry noodles, sweet n' sour chicken, pork, peas and carrots, bellpepper stuff, and a ginormous Smart water. I eat bits of this along with my own ginormous Smart water.
From there, we head to the Detour Festival in downtown LA where we stop at McDonalds so Joe can get some fries and two apple pies. I have a sip of his Powerade. When we get to the concert, Joe adds some mushrooms to the mix and about 4 vodka cranberries, 4 vodka monsters, and a few shots of vodka. From there, it's off to pick up some friends and stop, amazingly, yet again, at McDonalds. A round of Happy Meals. This officially breaks my no fast food diet. Damn it. Joe finishes my meal because I can't stomach it.
From there, we do some Cha-Cha'ing which includes 3 PBR's for Joe, one for me. An hour later we head home, and on the way hit up a taco stand where Joe picks up 2 tacos and a burrito.
Finally, the night ends. And everyone passes out with full tummys. Oh, but the weekend doesn't stop there.
Sunday morning we roll up and out and head to Sushi Mac. On the way Joe scores a Vitamin water and shares. Sushi Mac witnesses us eat the most we've ever fathomed in one sitting. Creeksta helps out with this. Heading to Shadowscene headquarters we stop at Ralphs and Joe picks up 3 bags of M&M's and an iced tea. I get my own iced tea but only finish half. Now this is all just the beginning. Because seriously, it never ends from this moment on; we've decided to hang out at a BBQ for the rest of the day, where Joe can eat, and eat, and eat. And this is what Joe manages to eat in a few hours:
3 hotdogs
3 hamburgers (one while no one was looking)
2 more hotdogs
1 Chicken leg
4 Hefeweizens
3 Milwaukees
1 bag of chips with Salsa
1 helping of Potato salad
2 Ice cream cones
Ugh. This is where I leave Joe...and not even with a belly ache. And from there, since the night was still young, he proceeded to Safari Sams for 2 PINTS of Jack & Coke, 4 beers on tap, and 2 Sparks after hours. Gotta love him! And if this doesn't make you want to fast, I don't know what will.