HOLA, MOONDAY
It's Monday. But in my world it feels like a Sunday afternoon. It could pretty much be any day as far as I'm concerned. What I do know, is SXSW is in a couple of weeks. I feel like this year the Austin musical summer camp may step it up a notch and actually be reminiscent of fun levels circa 2007. I'm talking real parties, late night dancing, surprise secret bashes galore, legit free food and drinks, warm weather, country farm style shenanigans and some solid bands. Let's get it!
In other news, I'm hypothesizing that winter is over. Spring is a couple weeks away. In fact, I don't think there really was much of a winter to begin with. Hooray?!
I'm also going to give a hooray shout out to this dude in the middle of the street. He looks just like Bob Ross, is wearing a fluorescent orange vest over his flannel, and is painting diagrams on the street. But he seems to be having a real hard time understanding the detailed spec sheet. So, his happy little X's are probably all in the wrong spots. I wish he were painting a Where's Waldo in the intersection. I love that dude...Waldo was hilarious. Cool ass dude with a little cane, just time traveling and hopping around the globe, no big deal.
Did you know there's a Where's Waldo movie? What a devastation. All I can say, is this thing better be super bad ass. 2015...the world of wandering Waldos.

PARTY HARD

Let's start with this. Yes, my nickname is robot. And yes. I used to drink 3 sparks a day. But, I was sponsored. So I felt inclined to have at least one color serving per day. Lies. I loved the shit. But that's also why I don't get why people still drink it. It's not Sparks anymore. It's not real. It's an orange flavored malt beverage that's eating your stomach away.

My crew in 2005 helped introduce Sparks to the market, when it was only being served in NY and LA. So, every party had it for free and our fridges were stocked. Let's just say when they took it off the market, this little robot got sad and had to find a jet pack to get me all the way home each night. That being said...here are a few random selects from 2005/2006 when the party posse wouldn't function without that all too well known orange tongue. And sorry Four Loco, you ain't got shit on Sparks. Not now, not never.

Cheers to all the friends who helped me funnel my favorite battery acid beverage and fueled me for years of partying, crowd surfing, 12 hour photo shoots and endless touring. And if anyone has a real Sparks on reserve (not Steel), please, send it my way.

I selected a few photo gems to share with you. Featured photos include me & Jade at the Love Yourself warehouse in Los Angeles pre-Magnetic Zeros era, me cooling down a frothy Sparks at The Sounds after party on Vine St., my favorite zippo courtesy of Sparks that even sings to me, drinking and high-fiving outside Capitol Records (a nightly routine), and some old school crews and Sparks built towers and castles.






Can we somehow get this back by popular demand? Drats.

IRRATIONAL
There are some things that are simple and some that are suppose to be and aren't. Let's talk about the stupid cardboard milk or creamer cartons that we could never open when we were 5 and in our mid twenties still can't manage to crack. This happened at Rocket Cat today, while I was preparing my coffee and some dude next to me finished off the creamer and had to open a new container. I took my time putting the sweetener in my cup of Joe while he struggled with the creamer. Then there was nothing to do but watch. "I've almost got it, I just need a tool," he says and then fishes around for a device to actually pry and poke the creamer open. Clearly, I start blatantly laughing at this point. Why can't there just be a nice little spout?! Or a twist off cap like the cardboard orange juice boxes come with? I mean seriously, we're sitting here 4 hands deep trying to rape this box of creamer just so we can prep our coffee. The best part is, once it's open he literally throws a splash into his coffee and says, "Damn...all that work for just that." I felt like I should have shaken the jug up and started spraying it around the cafe in celebration! Of course, then we would have had to spend another half hour opening a new box of creamer.

TIDBITS
I love fun facts. I also love frivolous irrelevant bits of information. Let's talk about the avocado. For one, I'm allergic. But I'll eat the hell out of avocados and guacamole until my lips tingle and I'm reaching for the Benadryl. I like to call it "building up a tolerance."
Furthermore, at Rocket Cat today there was questioning as to why all the lovely avocados were wrapped up in a paper bag. Because they ripen in the shade, dudes. Don't be putting your hard little avocado in a basket in the open air and sun to ripen...because it'll turn brown and mushy. That ain't proper ripening. Avocados fall from the tree and ripen in the shade. Fun facts! So fun, I'm going to go throw some of this fruit on my bagel right now. Yes, an avocado is botanically a fruit. But we treat it as a veggie. Fruit salad!?

Lovely avocado art by Craig Stephens: craigstevens.blogspot.com